The big reveal !
by MonkD.drgn
Summary: Our favorite dragons get the shock of there lives ! & Omi,s innocence is threatened ! The world of xiaolin showdown changed forever because the dragons never learned to knock .
1. Doesn't anybody knock anymore ?

Disclaimer : I do not , nor will I ever own Xiaolin Showdown . Now On with the Insanity !

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It was not a normal day for the xiaolin dragons. Now some of you might be thinking what day is normal for the four teenage warriors ? But the truth of the matter is For a bunch of element wielding warriors , they have pretty mundane predictable day,s . Starting first with light training , followed by breakfast wich is followed by more training , then chores.

After which any of the individual monks can spend there free time however they want Until it's time to go to bed . The only time this routine is interrupted is when either a new Shang gong Wu is activated or some one try's to Steal the existing wu from them , or some other random thing happens , However lately this routine has rarely been interrupted . No chase young coming around to try & corrupt Omi & turn him to the dark side . No Hannibal trying to steal the wu , gain Ultimate power , & in turn in slave the human race .

But strangest of all , no Jack Spicer to beat up for attempting some hath cocked plan to get the wu & take over the world . Which is why on a particularly boring day the monks & Dojo decided to go & check on spicer . they of course would tell people it was because they believed that he was doing something evil , but in truth It was because they were bored & Thought that Jack would entertain them ( Not intentionally , of course !) & Some just wanted to see him ( Omi & dojo . ) this was how they ended up privy to a very interesting story !

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This is the preview to a one-shot ( or two shot depending on how you see it . ) any way ,please review ! hopefully next chapter will be there soon .


	2. Shock value

When the xiaolin dragons arrived at the residence of one jack spicer the first thing they noticed was that there was no jack-bots on patrol. This in its self wasn't odd . However the over all lack of security was verity strange . Usually jack would be swarming them by now robots ready to (but not capable ) pumping them full of lead ( machine guns ) . Raimundo was the first to speak as team leader ( not that they know that yet )

Rai : alright guys , since there,s no sign of Spicer let's check the inside !

everyone nodded at this . They then proceeded to enter through the front door ( Not how they usually do it but this isn't the usual situation ) into what they could only Assume was the living room . They then proceeded to spread throughout the house ( Mansion ) And were slightly astonished at the amount lavish furniture and state-of-the-art appliance,s , Regardless they focused on their mission with raimundo going upstairs , kimiko surveying the living room , & the dinning room . Omi took the study ( not that he knew that's what it was . ) dojo & clay "of course " took the kitchen . Once they where done they all convened in the dinning ( with Omi helping himself to some of jack,s dad,s Books & dojo and clay helping themselves to a Ruben . Believe it or not the sandwich does hold a significance to this story . )

Clay : well I can tell you guys one thing , jacks fridge is emptier than a keg after a shaw family BBQ !

Ignoring the oddity of this statement , as in truth it wasn't so odd . At least not for them , the others proceeded with there reports . Omi : clay is correct , the beach appears to be deserted ! Being as he said this with his eyes closed & face up to the Ceiling he did not see his friends confused & befuddled face,s . it was kimiko who translated this horrifying misuse of slang . Kimiko : I think he means the coast is clear . To this Omi said , Omi : that is what I said ! The other 2 boy,s made face,s that said that they got it & that they where amazed at Omi,s ability to misuse slang. Having figured out that mystery rai decided to continue with the conversation .

Rai : there was no one upstairs . What about you kimiko ?

Kim : no one that I can see that,s for sure . Where do think jack Is ?

despite the obvious scorn in her voice there was a undertone of worry in her voice . After all jack wasn't known for his common sense . He could have easily gotten himself seriously hurt or worse . ( or so she thought . ) though rai & clay wouldn't admit it that we're worried too . It was at this moment Omi who had the most acute hearing heard what sounded like panting & grunting & ... Was that moaning ? The origin of the mystery noises appeared to be jacks basement Laboratory . Ironically the only place they didn't check & usually the only place in jacks house that they do ave the pleasure of being inside .

Omi : what is this most peculiar noise ?

having only just heard the noise kimiko was the first to voice her opinion on it .

Kimiko : sounds like raimundo & clay during an intense sparring match .

rai & clay : HEY !

at this point they where already inching toward the door to the basement . As they got closer dojo being the oldest at 1'500 plus years & therefore had the most experience figured out what the noise was & what it Implied . So he tried to deter his four young charges to not go to the basement .

Dojo : you know maybe we shouldn't go down there , I mean we don't what's down there & you know the old adage ! Curiosity killed the cat !

At this point it was to late & raimundo was already opening the door with the others behind him & was slowly getting down the stairs,s . Dojo just gave up & hoped the kid,s weren't scarred for life . They could make out the outline of something moving up & down in the low light . they could tell this was the source of the mysterious noise , but they couldn't tell what it was . Seeing as the couldn't tell if it was some kind of violent animal or some wierd creation of jack,s . Clay Figuring that turning om tithe light wouldn't hurt & that like most light switch,s it was right next to the door felt around for it & found it almost immediately and switched it on . He regretted this decision almost immediately & was somewhere between dumb founded & horrified . I can assure everyone that his fellow monks felt the same way . There. Reaction,s went something like this !

Rai : WHAT THE HELL !?

Kim : Oh My GOD !

Dojo : I knew this was gonna happen .

Omi : I do not understand .

Clay : ... ( imagine a wide eyed , slack jawed cow boy . )

? : Shit !

? : I'm gonna murder you little 6&%*,$ !

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to be continued !

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Hope you all liked it . I put a bit more effort into this chapter than the prologue . When I first thought this up I was trying to get it all into one chapter , now it appears it,s going to be 3 chapters . & to the reviewer who commented under the tittle no , While I appreciate your advice , I dont like you .As for my more respectful readers please review & please try to make your criticism a little more helpful . Until next time this is signing off ! Oh , also in your reviews of chapter 2 please try & guess who are two mystery speakers are , thank you !


	3. Where the hell is my sandwich ?

Disclaimer : I do not own Xiaolin Showdown . If I did then jack would become the Ultimate evil ! Anyway onto chapter 3 ! ( Also make note that this takes place during season three ! )

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Previously on The Big reveal !

rai : what the hell !

Kim : oh my god !

dojo : I knew this was going to happen .

Omi : I do not understand .

Clay : ... ( Dumbfounded clay ! )

Jack : SHIT !

Wuya : I'm gonna murder you little 6&%*,$ !

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( I'll just Leave that word to your imagination,s ! )

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To say that The monks were shocked would be an understatement ( Except Omi , cause He,s too naïve to know what's going on . ) They're not too far from Jack,s Worktable that doubled as a world map , On a bed that had not been there in their previous visit , was a Very naked Jack & Wuya . Currently their bodies were intertwine in a most awkward position . In response to the situation they both disentangled themselves from each other , jack standing in front of wuya Protectively ( Which is the monks had thought about it Would seem somewhat ridiculous ) , She covering herself with a previously discarded sheet , him Standing proudly nude. To this , she gave him a pillow to cover himself with . He took it thankfully and said .

Jack : What the hell are you losers doing here !?

To this the monks snapped out of their shock , rai Then proceeded to glare at the two of them , mostly jack . Kim Covered Omi,s eyes . And well clay Still had a Look pure shock on his face. Dojo decided to just sit back and enjoy the show . RaI Still glaring was the first to say something .

Rai : us !? Don't you think you owe us an explanation as to what you were doing !?

Jack : Frankly I don't think it's any of your business what we were doing , & Even you Half wax eared losers should know What we were doing ! ( Jack was obviously still very angry and somewhat embarrassed about the situation . )

To this Omi Replied , Omi : I don't know what you were doing .

At this everyone stopped what they were doing , not that they were doing much ,even clay & stared At him . Not that he could tell as Kimiko was Still covering his eyes . However Jack being as mean-spirited as he was and still very angry responded to this first with scorn and insults .

jack : yeah , well then your just stupid !

Kim : Hey ! Don't be so hard on him he's only 14 !

jack : Big deal , that,s not reason for him to be so ignor ... ! Wait what ?! He's only 14 ?!

rai : yes . Why ? How old did you think he was ?

Jack : I don't know , I just assumed that he was a really small 16 year old !

Clay : but you know What they say , assume & as you make An ass out of You & me . At this point they were forgetting the issue at hand ! so rai got them back on track .

Rai : you know what , that's not the point ! The point is that what your doing is wrong , inappropriate , & just plain nasty ! & you shouldn't be doing it !

It was at this point that Wuya spoke up , pissed off at raimundo,s words & Jack's lack of action !

Wuya : why you arrogant little brat ! I don't know if you know this , but you have no say in who I or jack make love to & that's final !

Kim : love ? That,s a word I think you or jack understand Wuya ! ( at this point Wuya has gone from pissed to volatile ! )

wuya : why you insolent little bitch ! did you think that I would Judy let anyone touch me like that !? I love jack & if you ever say anything like that to me or him again ill cut out your tong , boil you , & eat !

now Really , After that everyone was speechless and dumb founded again . Including Jack .

Jack : you love me ?

Wuya : of course jack , what did you think this is ? Some cheap affair ?

Jack : what ?! No , of course not ! It,s just that I didn't think you loved me back ! & I love you & & & & ... !

At this point Jack was so shocked in overjoyed he really didn't have any idea what to say , so Wuya Took action , she grabbed his face and said , Wuya : shut up jack . & so see kissed him Quite passionately on the lips . At this point Omi Was ready to Protest and question why Wuya loved jack , when as he would put it " he is quite beneath you " . ( if he only knew . ) but kimiko hushed him & along side the others attempted to get out the way they came . Emphasis on Attempted , as at the Moment they were to make their escape ( And they could have to seeing as Jack & Wuya were still passionately sucking face behind them . ) a certain conceded Dragon Lord broke In through one of many the entrances Jack had constructed in the room ( Think the garage like door that led up a concrete ramp into Jack's backyard From the dinosaur episode . ) thous killing the monks escape.

chase : listen spicer you worm , I don't care what hath Convoluted Scheme you & the Witch are planning , but ... !.

Just having catch the end of the abrupt make out session , chase could only stare in shock & befuddlement as all others had moment,s Before .

chase : what ... What hell is going on here !

while chase didn't seem angry , he did seem extremely annoyed . Omi having his eyes uncovered earlier , during the monks ill fated escape a temp wast the first to speak following the Question .

Omi : chase Yo what are you doing here ?

chase having just now noticed the dragons decided to Answer Omi's question .

Chse : umm ? ... Oh yes why I'm here , Wuya I came Here to take you away from this sniveling gripe and stop whatever foolish plans you have to find Shang gong wu !

Bean : well well well . If it ain't chase young & Aspiring elemental dragons . I must say this is quite some surprise , I Come here to persuade young Jack To help me in and evil scheme and what Do I find ? The five biggest annoyances in my life since I been released from my Imprisonment , 2 Naked Allies , & one mouthy Dragon !

Apparently in the ensuing confusion of Chase's arrival & the still very naked couple at the center of the basement One Hannibal Roy Bean managed to Sneak in during the chaos ( Not that's very hard for it seeing as he is a 3 Inch tall talking Bean . ) Some of those president did not take kindly to the insults thrown there way , most specifically said Mouthy Dragon .

Dojo : Mouthy ?! Who you calling mouthy you overgrown excuse for lima bean ?!

Bean : Lima bean ?! Why I bought to string you up by your tail & Gut you you sorry excuse for a salamander !

Dojo : Alright that's it ! You're going down you sorry excuse for Bean !

Bean : Bring it all you cowardly excuse for a gecko !

At this point jack decided to interject seeing as this was his basement in that if these guys decided to rumble well where Would he plot world domination ?

Jack : Wow wow , hold up here ! If there's going to be a rumble , take it to the yard ! & I'll be charging 10 bucks for admission an 15 bucks per fighter , Not to mention 20 bucks for use of my property for this fight , That will also be per fighter !

( For those of you who aren't that good at math , That's about $ 150 .00 . ) For some in explicable reason all those were asked paid for said services . Wuya Being the kind of woman that she is complemented Jack on his brilliance in this situation . She was also the kind of woman would make her man ( & Yes Jack is a man whether you peons want to accept it or not . ) Give her a good portion of his money . At first he was going to keep 70 for himself and give the other 80 to Wuya , Of course she objected to this an made him give her $100 Meaning he only got to keep 50 . Jack didn't care about this seeing as he was rich and could just get more anyway . It was at this moment just as they were about to move outside that raimundo decided to speak .

Rai : Jack I don't really care about this fight or the fact that you're charging us . but put on some pants dammit !

It was at this moment that Jack and even Wuya Was caught by surprise and the fact that they were still naked . Jack of course it put down the pillow that Wuya Had offered him earlier , so now he was standing there for all to see . His snake and beans visible to the world ( Make note the snake and beans comment was a reference to another story that I read , It was pretty good . I'm not gonna tell you guys what story was only that it was western themed , now let's move on . )

Jack : Oh ge'ez ! Wuya You better put something on to .

Rai : No she can stay like that .

It was at this moment that a pillow hit him in the head courtesy of Wuya ! Now while you Might think that the monks could not be any more disturbed than they previously were by the couple's current state , You'd be wrong . Because at this particular moment they decided to use pet names for each other not only scarring the monks and dojo but Hannibal and Chase as well .

Jack : Good shot my delectable little broomstick . ( Yeah you heard it ! )

Wuya : Thank you my sweet little monkey tail . ( ah ha , she said it ! )

It was at this moment that all those present , not including the happy couple had a totally shocked but horrified look on their face that said how disgusted & disturbed they Truly were . This process of horrifying pet names and disturbed faces would've gone on for a while had not a yet unknown ( except by the happy couple ) individual .

Mike : Alright Jack they were all out of banana pudding but I managed to get chocolate . Hope you don't mind . Also I managed to find a superb set of frog legs in the marketplace . Seriously what are frog legs doing in China ? I also managed to find you a superb brand of jerky & for Wuya a fine sampling of Escargot ( Believe it or not I like the frog legs escargot Is not exclusively a French dish . Surprisingly a lot of coaches do in fact eat snails . As for the unknown individual who just entered the basement , that would be me ! As mentioned before the previously posted challenge for xiaolin Showdown I said I wouldn't mind being Jack's best friend , so I decided to make myself Jack's best friend . Plus I've always wanted to break the fourth wall , so sue me ! And to those who object to this , SUCK IT ! Oh yeah , Psych quote ! ) Also I was thinking we pass shark fin soup for dinner tonight ( Believe it or not this is actually a real Chinese delicacy ) I managed to get some Premier shark . What do you think ? Bull or Tiger , I would've tried to get white but that's that is way too expensive and I decided not to splurge once . Also since I know Jack One object to no banana pudding I got the ingredients and decided to go home made , for the chocolate as well !

It was at this moment that I ( Yes I ! ) Notice the others in the room and being my usual wise ass self decided to say something .

Mike : what ? you guys decided to have a party without me ! not cool , not cool . ( It was at this moment that I noticed that my best friend and his girl were mostly naked . Bus my mind came to a realization about the situation . Being the evil advisor to future ruler of the world ( yeah , I said it ! ) I put on my best evil smirk and said . ) You guys sent me grocery shopping " which still makes sense since our refrigerator is mostly empty " Because you wanted to screw around and you got caught ! Not to mention it was by the xiaolin losers ( Again yeah , I said it ! ) , An overgrown evil Lizard ! Not to mention the Evil bean Dude ! No disrespect Hannibal sir , Big fan Big fan ! ( I've been proceeded to laugh my ass off for five minutes ! Also I wasn't kidding about being a fan of Hannibal Roy Bean ! Dude is just bad ass ! It was at this point that the dragons decided to question my identity . )

Rai : ah , Who are you ?

( It was at this point that I got offended . )

Mike : Seriously , Seriously ! You still haven't mentioned me ( Jack ) I've only been your best friend since we were like what ? six . & You still haven't mentioned me !? Who was it that supported you when your parents were away ? Who encouraged you in your dreams of world domination ? Who didn't laugh in your face about it ? Who planned with you from the very beginning ? Who didn't object when you decided to run off and search for some magical items with a floating ghost hag ? No offense Wuya ! Who helped you repair your jackpots after a fight ? Who consoled you after you had to help lock Wuya in a puzzle box , despite the fact that you were secretly pining for her at this time ?! Who help you constrUCT A ROBOT Duplicate OF Yourself ?! Despite thinking it was a terrible idea ! Who moved in with you an decided to pay rent despite the fact that you're rich after your parents Decided to go on a year-long vacation And cooks all your meals ! ( I know somewhat unrealistic but I can imagine myself having this kind of outburst so I decided to go what the hell ) Certainly not her ( Wuya ! ) That time I Meant offense ! ( And yes I said that out loud . ) You know what forget this I'm going to go eat my lunch and take a nap ! You can cook your own shark fin soup tonight !

It was at this point that I left the basement . Everyone including Jack was quite shocked at my outburst ( To be fair so was I little . ) So Jack being the one most familiar with my behavior decided to take charge in the situation .

Jack : Okay ! Well seeing as that was a bit embarrassing and horrifying , & also Seeing as I already have your money What say you that we go outside have that rumble and forget this ever happened , agreed ?

All : AGREED !

At this point Jack must've proceeded to put on his Frankenstein T-shirt seeing as he wasn't wearing it earlier and I wasn't in the room to see him put it on ( as I had just left & Certain details were Forgotten or not used by those who told me the story later . ( Jack & Dojo . ) & At this point I was Artie in the kitchen . ) Jack Then said " Cool let's go " But once again just as everyone was about to go outside they were interrupted .( by me . ) as They heard a blood curdling scream of horror , anger , and just plain befuddlement .

Mike : AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH !? WHO ATE MY SANDWICH !?( It was at this point that Dojo and Clay got real nervous ( , also all?'s were there on purpose . ) and of course Jack noticed the nervousness an Panicked . )

Jack : Oh no ! You didn't , Please tell me you didn't eat his Ruben !?

Clay : Sorry partner , But it was just sitting there all delicious looking I couldn't resist. Dojo: I only ate the onion rings !

Jack : Alright . Dojo You should be safe ! ( To which our 1500-year-old Dragon sighed . ) Clay I suggest if you want to live hide ! ( At which point Jack proceeded to try and push clay into a hiding spot under the stairs . )

clay : ah , Jack No offense partner but I don't think your friend could hurt me .

Jack : None taken . & Trust me when I tell you that since you ate is Ruben Mike will destroy you , an when I say destroy you I mean beat you within an inch of your life , Leaving a boot up your ass , & a permanent imprint on your colin ! ( It was at this point that I returned . ) " Who did it ? Who ate my sandwich ?! " . ( of course all I had to do at this point was look at clay an Dojo & I could tell . They were shivering worse than they had frostbite . ) I've been slowly approaching , a cold glair ready to disburse Vengeance . Dojo then Decided to plead case " Hold on , I only ate the onion rings " ! " Alright you're safe " Was my response at this . I've been continued to approach clay looking at him threateningly with a cold Glair in My eye . Clay then also decided to plead his case , with very little success . " Now hold on partner ! All I did was eat your sandwich . It was an accident . No need to get so worked up . Hey , what are you doing with that Cressent wrench ? Wait ! No ! PLEASE NO ! NOT THE BOOT , ANYTHING BUT THE BOOT ! MMMMMAAMMMMMAAA ! " This scream was heard all the way back to the boys home state of Texas . ( I'd like to point out there in china . ) at Which point his daddy called the Temple , Kim also at this point was calling master fung back at the temple Two inform him of clays imminent condition , & Rai Was just calling an ambulance . The xiaolin dragons learned three very Important lessons that day . 1: Never eat my sandwich , unless you want a boot up your ass . 2: Never visit Jack on a Tuesday . & 3: ... Isn't it obvious ? Always knock !

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Any way , Until next time THE END !

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Authors note : To all my readers , thank you for the Review,s . However while I'll try to improve my grammar ( Though I don't think there's anything wrong with it . ) I do in fact use spellcheck , so shut up About it ! But please tell me what you think of the overall story and humor . & To any one piece Fans out There , The earlier sneaky & beans comment Was from a western one piece story I read , it was very good actually . I suggest looking it up ! To do so just go to one piece fanfiction Go to ratings all , English , Complete , & And theme Western . You should be able to find it . If you can't I suggest looking through all the completed stories under these settings , You should find one with with the title of the first or second chapter being something with the mysterious stranger & the Devils Gunman . This will probably be my last story for a while as I'm currently working on a project with another author . His pen name is tarheel The godly ram ! Thank you And please continue to review .


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